If you’ve ever been called a people pleaser or been accused of being needy, you may be engaging in a form of codependent behaviour created by an underlying pattern of dysfunctional thinking.
In a co-dependent relationship, a person restricts his or her behaviour for the purpose of controlling the behaviour or emotional reaction of another person.
For someone who has a gambling addiction, it’s not as simple and easy as ‘just walking away’. How do you know if you may be addicted to gambling? Here are some signs:
- To achieve the same feeling of excitement and adrenaline, you have started to gamble with increasing amounts of moneyWhen trying to cut down or stop gambling, you become irritated and restless
- Despite several attempts to stop, control or cut back on your gambling, you’ve been unsuccessful
- Obsessive thoughts about gambling — thinking of the next gambling adventure, reliving past experiences, thinking about how to get more money to gamble
- When stressed or upset, you turn to gambling
- Even after losing money — sometimes signifiant amounts of money — you return to ‘chase’ your losses
- To cancel your gambling activities, you’ve begun to lie
- Relationships, jobs and other opportunities have been lost or jeopardized because of gambling
- Turning to others to help with money issues causes by gambling
- Inability to stop, despite the impact gambling is having on your life
First of all, what is codependency?
Psychology Today defines it as ‘when two people with dysfunctional personality traits become worse together. Enmeshment happens when clear boundaries about where you start and where your partner ends are not clearly defined.’ Psychology Today
In codependent relationships, often one partner, or in many cases always, puts the other’s needs before their own.
Are you struggling with your relationships at work and at home? If so, there may means you are behaving in a toxic manner that is affecting those around you. If people are withdrawing from you and you’re having trouble maintaining relationships, see if you can see yourself in any of these behaviors:
- Toxic people are manipulative. Their standard operating behavior is to get others to do what they want them to do. It’s all about them. They use other people to get what they want out of life. Forget what others want; this is not about equality in a relationship.
- Toxic people are judgmental. They are often critical — it’s about what others have done and what they didn’t do. They never take responsibility and will lie if necessary.
- They take no accountability for their own feelings. Their feelings are projected onto others. If someone tries to point this out to them, they will strongly defend their position, and take no responsibility.
- They never apologize. They don’t see any reason to, because they are never at fault. They try to gain sympathy and attention by claiming they are actually the ‘victim’ in this case.
It’s important to remember we are not all the same and we react to life differently. But for most individuals, an anxiety condition typically isn't developed or caused by a single factor but a combination of things.
A number of factors play a role in developing an anxiety disorder:
Family history of mental health conditions
Some people may have a genetic predisposition towards anxiety and these conditions can sometimes run in families. However, having a parent or close relative who has anxiety or other mental health conditions doesn't automatically mean you’ll develop anxiety.